


Have You Ever Been In Love?

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: My Boss's Niece [10]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:16:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here she was, just 25, and that name and tone could stop him in his tracks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have You Ever Been In Love?

"Who was your first love?"

Hogan squeezed Josh's hand and looked at him. It was early December and snow fell in the nation's capital. It was not heavy but it was falling steadily. Josh looked back at her with a small smile.

"Why would you ask me that?" Hogan asked.

"Dunno. Just wondering. Tell me."

"Jeffrey Hoffman. I was in 8th grade I think. Yeah, 8th grade. He was cute, but that wasn't it. He was the smartest person I knew. He was funny, and witty…I think it was painfully obvious how I felt about him."

"How did you know him?"

"He tutored me in pre-algebra. My father would leave and we would make out. I got an A in pre-algebra."

Josh smirked, lifting her hand and kissing it.

"I just realized I don't know that much." He said.

"About what?"

"You sweetie."

"Ask."

"I don't want it to be like 20 questions. There are things we should talk about…we're getting ready to get married. Be parents."

"I don't know about getting ready to get married." Hogan replied.

Josh stopped walking; Hogan didn't notice until her arm stretched behind her. She stopped.

"What's the matter Lyman?" she asked with a smile. "Look at you, snow in your hair. You're so adorable."

She ran her hands through his hair wildly, smoothed it out, and kissed his lips.

"Don't you want to get married?"

She had taken his hand and they were walking again. Dusk on the Potomac was beautiful as always…the sky was purple and white with clouds as the snow caught under the streetlights making it look as if a million stars fell from the sky.

"Josh, if I did not want to marry you I would have turned you down. I love you; there is no need to feel insecure OK. I'm happy, but at the same time I don't know if I'm ready to get married."

"I'm not ashamed to admit my confusion."

"Josh!" she sounded exasperated but her voice was laced with humor.

"What! C'mon, that's confusing."

"Marriage is a big step and I'm not quite ready. I mean, I'm ready to be engaged and I know I love you, but I cannot say I'm 100% ready for the big leap."

"Oh, well OK. A lengthy engagement?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm not going anywhere…we have time."

"I just thought you would want to be married by the time the baby comes."

"That's May Josh; that is certainly not enough time to plan a real wedding. You also have to consider how busy you are. Let's take our time."

Josh didn't like the idea of his child being born out of wedlock. Not that that would make him any less of a father. Still, what if Hogan decided she didn't want to be a part of the relationship anymore…she had the freedom to up and go. Josh had seen how fathers could be treated by the courts. He never wanted to scrape and fight to have access to his child. If they were married, that wouldn't be so.

"Something is on your mind." Hogan said.

"Uh uh."

"Uh huh. Talk to me."

"How about food? The Cosi is right across the street…it is definitely a soup and sandwich kind of night."

"Sure."

They started walking away from the river, heading for the street, which was filled with people on the Christmas shopping hustle. Josh still hadn't gotten a gift for Hogan; Anassa purchased all of his other gifts online. The Secret Service had changed position to accommodate the protectee.

"Harvard and Coed are on the move. Check your position, station one."

"Do you ever get sick of the four extra friends?" Hogan asked.

"I'm pretty used to them. By the way, we think it might be better when you start to show more that you get two agents."

"No."

"Hogan…"

"I do not want to be trailed by people in suits with guns. Hey, end of discussion for now. Let's not ruin our evening with a bickering match. We'll have more time to argue later."

Josh nodded. They sat at a table where Hogan could watch the snowfall.

"What do you want to eat?" Josh asked.

Hogan scanned the menu as the server approached. She ordered a bowl of potato soup and half a turkey sandwich on wheat. Josh wanted a bowl of chili and a cup of coffee. Hogan wanted apple tea. When the server walked away, Josh smiled at her.

"Are you at all interested in finding out the sex of the baby?" he asked.

Josh's face glowed every time he talked about the baby. They fought a week ago…he wanted her to move in with him. Hogan loved her cramped apartment and her freedom. Josh wanted her to be there when he came home at night; wanted to look after her. While her fierce independence always attracted him now it upset Josh. She finally relented, saying she would live with him. Anything to shut him up.

"I won, it really doesn't matter how." The White House Chief of Staff replied.

"I want it to be a surprise, and we are not going to bicker about it Joshua."

Josh swallowed, when she called him by his full name it was not up for discussion. Here she was, just 25, and that name and tone could stop him in his tracks. Women were incredible.

"Well, I just thought…"

"OK look, I already have names picked out and whatever the baby is we'll pick one. All I really care about is ten fingers and ten toes, you know?"

"Yeah. Do I get to know the names or are they a surprise too?"

Hogan pinched his hand and Josh recoiled.

"Hey, with the violence. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next five months or so?"

"The choice is yours Lyman." Hogan replied with a smile. "A boy would be Noah Thomas and a girl Maureen…I haven't figured out a middle name yet."

"Noah." Josh hardly whispered the name as the server brought the food. "Seriously?"

"Of course we're naming the baby after your father. Why do you seem so surprised?"

"I don't know. I…"

"Firstly, it's what Jewish tradition dictates. Secondly, Noah is a fine name. Thirdly, I'm cheating by giving him Uncle Leo's middle name. So it's settled."

"OK. Maureen was your grandmother right?"

"Yeah. I never met her but I've seen her pictures. CJ is the spitting image of her. Tall and elegant. I wish sometimes I looked like the Creggs and didn't have my mother's Southern California surfer girl looks."

They ate in silence for a while.

"You are stunning Hogan. You may know that, or not, but I know."

"Thank you." She sounded neutral but the big smile on her face betrayed her true feelings. "It's overwhelming sometimes."

"What sweetie?"

"Living up to the expectations."

"Uh uh, you don't have to live up to anything. I love you exactly as you are…nothing is ever going to change that."

Josh knew that Hogan was prone to moments, days, and weeks of crippling self-doubt and sadness. She usually kept it under control, though she would never tell Josh if medication helped. The condition could only be exacerbated by the hormone increase her body went through right now. That was another reason Josh wanted her to move in, albeit a smaller one. He wanted to be able to monitor changes in her behavior.

"You know what I want to do?" Josh asked.

"Hmm?"

Hogan finished her sandwich and flagged their server over for the other half. Josh could not help but smile. He was going to have a robust kid.

"I want to go home, run a hot bath, light candles, and put on some music. Just relax."

"Bubbles?" Hogan asked.

"Hell yeah. You can't have a proper couple's bath without bubbles."

Hogan laughed. Damn, he loved her laugh. She didn't laugh a lot, certainly not enough.

"I better hurry with eating then, huh?"

"Oh we have plenty of time. Then I am going to give you a nice body massage before I make passionate love to you."

"OK, now I know I'm in a dream sequence. You are going to give me a massage."

Josh's eyes widened as Hogan's sandwich arrived. He pushed his mostly empty chili bowl aside and got a refill on his coffee.

"Hey, I have given you back massages before, and foot massages. You always said you liked it. Was that just out of the kindness of your heart?"

"No Lyman." Hogan shook her head, laughing again. "Your evening sounds wonderful…really, I'm looking forward to it."

"Well it is only half a sandwich away." Josh replied.

"I really love all the attention." She said. "I love you Josh."

He reached across the table for her hand.

"I love you too, and I want to do all these things for you and our child."

"So we're going to be happy?"

"Damn right…I don't see how we can't be. Our kid will be the luckiest kid on the block."

Hogan smiled, trying to push all the fears into the outer recesses of her mind. She had no idea if she was ready for any of this. Wife and mother, oh dear God. She truly loved Josh; had never loved a soul more. That was scary enough. It was happening so fast, though they had been together for nearly the entire Santos Administration. _OK, just breathe_ , she thought, _and look at him. Look at how he looks at you. Listen to the way he talks to you. Feel the way he touches you…he means it when he tells you that he loves you. You opened the door, begged him with your eyes to leave, and he stayed. It survived 9 months with a continent between you, if anything growing in its strength and devotion_.

"So Lyman?"

"Yeah?"

"Who was your first love?"

***


End file.
